Recovery
by amberleigh90
Summary: Can he save Cameron before the darkness takes over? Dameron TGP
1. Chapter 1

So this is probably the darkest thing I've ever written. It's kinda a precursor to a fic I'm thinking about trying to write.

Uhm, let me know if you want me to continue it, yeah?

Oh, it's Dameron (Cameron/Damian)

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><p>As he pressed the razor blade against the soft spot on his heel, the voice in his head came back.<p>

_What would your parents say if they knew what you were doing to yourself?_

"They don't care. They would rather have a dead son than a gay one." Talking to no one in particular, he grabbed the nearby bottle of Vodka and took a quick chug. He kept it handy for two reasons. He knew he'd lose his nerve when the voice came back, he always did. That and the alcohol thinned his blood...making it that much harder for it to clot. The more blood that seeped out of the slits on his body, the more relief he felt.

_What about that boyfriend of yours? Didn't you promise him you'd stop doing this?_

Cameron almost choked on his spit. He'd almost forgotten about Damian. How he could forget about the love of his life was beyond him.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Lies. It was all lies. Honestly he wasn't sure he could differentiate the lies from the truth anymore.

_For someone who claims to love him, you sure are hurting him an awful lot._

"It's not hurting him. It's hurting me." His voice was barely above a whisper. He knew things like this weren't normal…but then again, he'd never been normal.

_You are hurting him by hurting yourself. Do you really want to die, Cameron? Do you know what that would do to him? You are his entire life…you're everything he lives for._

"JUST SHUT UP!" As he yelled at the voice, he'd heard shuffling in the room next to his. The heavy padding of Damian's socked feet against the hardwood floor alerted Cameron that he had to do something. But before he could even move, the doorknob on his bedroom door twisted.

Swiftly swiping the blade across another part of his heel, the blonde let out a slight whimper as the door creaked open and Damian walked into the dimly lit room.

"Oh, Cameron." The Irish drawl on his name had tears pouring down his cheeks before he even knew what was going on. Damian was at his side in mere seconds, pressing a hand to the seeping wounds on his skin. Letting out a hiss at the sting of the contact, Cameron finally looked up at the face of the younger man who he was completely head over heels in love with.

Blue eyes, now grey, that were once happy, now filled with pain, met his own soft blue ones as he let out a strangled cry, "I'm so sorry, Damian."

The dark haired boy pulled his lover into his arms, quietly shushing him, pleading him to stop whimpering. "It's okay, love. We'll do this together."

Cameron found comfort in Damian's strong embrace. Blood stained hands tangled into the cloth of Damian's black t-shirt, as his head fell, his eyes dropping hot tears into Damian's warm neck.

"I need help." Admitting it _was_ the first step to recovery, right?


	2. Chapter 2

So the timing in the story is sorta...weird I guess. It's not necessarily going to be in order...or I guess a better way to put it is that one chapter isn't always going to happen right after the one before it...make sense? I hope so lol. That's the only way I know to explain it.

But it's pretty much times in their relationship where Cameron is feeling down/depressed.

So yeah, let me know what you think?

Oh, the song is Permanent by David Cook. It's probably a good thing to listen to while reading this.

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><p>Damian sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair next to Cameron's bed. He'd known it was bad, but he didn't know it was ever this bad. He didn't know it was bad enough to make the older boy want to take his own life. He couldn't help but feel responsible for Cameron's depression. If only he'd noticed it earlier, maybe they would've been able to get him help…maybe he wouldn't be laying in this hospital bed right now with deep cuts embedded into his wrists that would surely turn into dark scars.<p>

_Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?  
>Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry.<br>And everything, it will surely change even if I tell you I won't go away today._

Tears stained his blushed cheeks as they rolled from his bloodshot eyes. He'd promised Cameron once, a while ago, that he wouldn't ever have to see him cry. He'd broken that promise, but dammit! Cameron told him he wouldn't ever harm himself again.

The only thing he knew to do was to sing. That's what he did to convey his emotions. Only rarely did he say words out loud that made him feel anything. He'd come to a realization…Cameron wasn't the only one that needed help. Everyone was right; feeling numb to the world isn't a safe way to go through life. He'd made himself a promise that once Cameron got better he'd work on himself. But maybe, just maybe, they both needed the other to be better first. _  
><em>

_Will you think that you're all alone,  
>When no one's there to hold your hand?<br>And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head.  
>I'm permanent.<em>

He wasn't ever planning on leaving the blonde's side. No matter what the world through at Cameron, he'd be right there by his side. He looked down at his own shaking hands, wishing to God that there was something, anything he could do to take away Cameron's pain. He couldn't help but feel a stab of pain go through his heart. They were truly connected. He felt Cameron's pain. He could feel when Cameron was feeling lonely, or lost. He could feel when Cameron was feeling un-worthy.

_I know he's living in hell every single day.  
>And so I ask, "Oh god is there some way for me to take his place?"<br>And when they say it's all touch and go I wish I could make it go away._

He was startled when a softer, more angelic voice was covering his own. He looked up to see Cameron's light blue eyes up staring up into his own, shinning with unshed tears in them. Steadier, lanky hands found his and squeezed. The simple gesture brought on another onslaught of desperate tears from his eyes. Maybe he wasn't numb to the entire world after all. Maybe he was just numb to everything and everyone who wasn't Cameron.

_But still you say  
>Will you think that you're all alone when no one's there to hold your hand?<br>When all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head.  
>I'm permanent.<br>I'm permanent._

His usually very sturdy voice wavered as he sang the last verse of the song, his emotions getting the best of him. He let go of the blonde's hand, wiping at eyes trying his hardest to dry them. He knew with just a look at the broken man in the bed, they'd get through anything the cruel world threw at them…together.

He

_Is the moment where I look you in the eye?  
>Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry.<em>

"Please don't ever do that to me again, Cam." Once again, the emotions caught up to him as he laid his head on his lover's stomach and let the tears consume him.

"I won't. I promise."


End file.
